I just had the weekend of my life traveling to see a girl from my past. $800 ticket, check. Hotel, check, take Monday off work, check. 9 hour flight time and jet lag, check.
Now the interesting part… So I haven’t seen this girl in over 12 years, literally since 2003 or so, last I’ve seen her was so long ago in a different country and continent. When I first saw her face again …… and heard her voice and saw her smile again …… everything from the past came rushing in, all our childhood memories together, everything we’ve been through, all of our ups and downs …… wow just wow. I realized how much the phrase “old is gold” really means. It ALL came back, instantly. It’s like everything was locked away awaiting a key, and the key was her being there…
Even though I thought our encounter was going to be “just friends catching up” it was apparent in 3 seconds that our internal affection is not dead, it has just been buried away for so many years and none of us knew it existed anymore. We’ve never dated before, which is the scary part… yet we both experienced the craziest emotional rush ever…
My heart opened up again, I haven’t felt like this in my entire life, I don’t know how to explain it, it’s like I’ve rediscovered something I’ve missed out on my entire adulthood, nothing but tears rushed out, both of us, it was really the most emotional time of my life to date. I didn’t even feel like this during my first kiss.
With that said, I can go on and on about my feelings and how I feel towards her. I’m 95% sure she feels the same too, but the crazy problem is that I’ve recently got a girlfriend, a much younger one, and up until this weekend, I thought my love for her was “it”. After discovering this new-old buried in my heart love and affection … I am left with a very hard choice to make, heck I don’t even know how to approach this problem. I’ve never hurt anyone in my life and I’ve never dumped a girl in my life (got dumped but never the other way around).
It has been a true emotional roller-coaster… I can’t even sleep or eat anymore, ever-since I came back home all I’ve been doing is thinking of her and her smile, voice, eyes, like a deranged teenager…. oh God I better stop now.
